All He Can Hope For
by The Carrot
Summary: Dr. Luria feels the need to ask Sam how he's doing. Set after Between Heartbeats.
1. All He Can Hope For and

Just an awkward idea I thought of last night.

Too long to be a drabble, to short to be a story… So it is now a dratory…hehehe…

Set any time after Between Heartbeats. The child she mentions is referring to Petar.

Please enjoy.

* * *

Her job was to allow them to talk.

To let out the frustration of their job.

Only he wasn't talking.

Not to Ed, not to Jules or Greg; and certainly not to her either.

Dr. Luria quickened her pace as she saw the object of her visit to SRU headquarters walk in the front doors, heading right for the stairs. It was something that always struck her as strange, how Sam always took the staircase. Even on a call where an elevator was accessible the blonde would always opt for them instead. "Sam."

The sniper paused on the second step, waiting as the doctor caught up with him. "Hey."

She smiled at the greeting before taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the tired lines on his face. His shoulders were stiff and straight, showing a kind of defiance against the tiredness that most likely running through his body. It was something he had undoubtedly picked up in the military. "Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

Had Luria been anybody else, had she not seen it flash across Ed's face so many times before, the dreading wince behind Sam's blue eyes might have been lost on her.

The two made their way up the stairs, small talk exchanging between them, but as she came to the cat walk that overlooked the courtyard below Luria turned her conversation to a more serious topic. Things like how Jules was doing, when they expected her back, how the team was fairing without her and how he liked Donna, Jules replacement.

Then something she said took the blonde completely by surprise.

"I know somewhere down deep inside of you, you may feel guilty about shooting Petar, it's never easy to shoot someone… especially one so young." she sighed. "Even if he was responsible for a lot of bad things, it doesn't stop people from still feeling the pressure of taking the life of, well, in some aspects, taking the life of a child."

Hard blue eyes whipped around to glare at her and Luria found herself flinching backwards as Sam turned to face her.

"He's not the first kid I've shot down," He muttered, the words low, but as Ed and Wordy rounded the corner of the hallway the two men froze at the coldness in his voice. Sam's grip on the railing he had been leaning against tightened to the point where his knuckles turned white. His eyes searched Luria's face, looking past the shock to the confusion underneath. "To protect your unit, your team, your friends or civilians… you take out people you never would have thought you could kill. And if that means shooting the fourteen year old boy running towards you, who also happens to have four pounds of explosive wired on him, you don't question it. You shoot him."

Luria let her eyes fall away from the blonde whose tone had turned to ice.

"If you're here to talk to me about whether or not I feel guilty about shooting the bastard who shot Jules, and threatened Ed, save your breath; I'd shoot him again given half the chance."

Ed watched as the young sniper moved away towards the locker room before exchanging glances with the man beside him. Clapping Wordy on the shoulder the bald man followed Sam into the changing room. It was empty as he entered but he stayed out of Sam's line of vision. He watched the blonde open his locker, throwing his bag into it angrily before sighing and stepping back, a bit more calmly to sit on the bench in front of his locker

The team leader was about to speak but paused when he heard Sam muttering to himself.

"He's not the first kid I've killed…All I can do is hope he will be the last."

* * *

So… he does actually feel guilty about shooting Petar… or maybe not?


	2. What Would Destroy You

Damnit… when somebody asks for more I tend to write more… even if I meant it only to be a one-shot… they never stay oneshots. DX

In this one the plot bunnies made Luria talk to Sam after the events in 'Behind the Blue Line'. I swear I love this episode… Okay, I'm going to go finish my next chapter for 'Back to Basic's' now. (And this story may be very difficult to follow nearer the end… any words you don't recognize are Russian.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint… just the bartender. 3

* * *

It wasn't a dingy bar, not by any means, but it defiantly wouldn't be classified as one of the nicer ones that were in the town. It was the kind of place that, if you wanted to be left alone, you'd be left alone, but if you wanted company, there would be several people that would join you stranger or not.

Greg had briefed her, let her read the transcripts and let the doctor watch the video of the takedown that had happened in the Godwin Arena. He had called her after Sam refused to talk to him about the effects Darren had had on him. She had heard the worry in the older mans voice so her response was immediate. Of course she'd talk to him… at least, she'd try to. Her last attempt had not gone well; she could only hope this time would be different.

And that was how Luria found herself standing inside the door of the 'Red Line' bar, her soft brown eyes glancing around the room for her subject.

Sam heard her before she even got close, could smell her perfume before she came up behind him. In the back of his mind he wondered how fast his drunken body could move as the idea of making a break for the back door got steadily more appealing.

But the idea had come too late as the dark haired woman slid into the stool next to him at the bar. "We need to talk." Luria stated setting her purse on her lap.

"Thanks, but I've got my own therapist." The sniper quipped back, poking the bottle his tequila to show her what he meant.

Luria shook her head sadly as she watched him take another drink out of his glass. "You're not going to find any of your answers in the bottom of a bottle Sam."

"Wasn't planning on findin' them." He replied slouching forward. "To need answers, ya gotta have questions. And, I don't have any questions, so thanks but no thanks doc."

The tall bulky man behind the counter glared at the blonde before muttering something in a language she didn't know. Luria found her self frowning as Sam snorted under his breath before replying in the same dialect. Was that Russian? The bartender's glare deepened as he set a shot glass down in front of the doctor and leaned closer to the sniper next to her.

"Govoritʹ, ili ya pozvonyu Alisa."

Sam's eyes shot up to him, blue eyes darkening a shade in anger. But when the old man didn't give, the blonde fell back in his chair, turning back to the doctor. "Fine, you wanna talk, you go right ahead."

He wasn't pleased, it wasn't hard to tell, but what caught her off guard wasn't the unusual coldness in his words; it was the open look of pain behind his eyes that had replaced the anger. So Luria spoke. She told him, that the things that had happened to Darren hadn't been his fault, and the thing with Matt hadn't been his fault either; that the team still wanted him even though Greg and Ed had put him on a mandatory four day leave.

The sniper just nodded and let her carry on.

--

It was late now; most of the other patrons had left, leaving only a few late night scragglers behind at the bar.

Luria and Sam happened to be two of those scragglers.

The doctor was leaning back in her seat staring absent minded at the neat row of liquors behind the bar. Her jacket, which now sat on the back of her chair with her purse, had come off after the second drink Sam had poured for her. She hadn't wanted to drink, but he had promised her he'd talk some if she drank with him. So she had, and Luria felt the warmth spread across her cheeks as she took another sip of tequila. They had had a good talk, she was happy that the blonde had opened up to her a bit. At least, she thought that was the reason she was happy… it could be the alcohol making her smile.

Sam on the other hand had his head buried in his arms, keeping the low buzzing lights out of his eyes. The sniper was mentally kicking him self for talking as much as he did. No doubt everything he had said to Luria would be retold to Greg, which would be told to Ed… then to Jules, and then- Sam groaned silently to himself at the mere thought of the rest of his team mates knowing what a screw-up he was. 'This is turning out to be a great night.' He added in his mind but he was startled from his own misdoings when he felt a soft touch on his arm.

Blue eyes glanced up warily as Sam felt the doctor follow a familiar line on his arm. One he had mindlessly gone over several times himself.

Luria couldn't help but wince as she trace her finger down the thin white scar that stuck out against the raw, red skin which had been burned by the phosphorous the day previous; normally the scar would have been nearly invisible against Sam's pale skin. When she looked up the doctor saw the blonde watching her with a smirk on his face. She quickly pulled her hand away but Sam just kept watching her before he reached forward and rolled up his sleeve to his elbow, and due to the dim light, three thicker scars, similar to the one she had just touched were revealed to her, also standing out loudly against the burn.

"It came down between two murd'rers, a guy who had jus' killed his family an' myself." he explained letting his arm fall back to the table and Luria couldn't help her eyes go back to the thick white lines. "We weren't getting outta there without one of us dying. Guess who won?" Sam couldn't help but chuckle, the alcohol running through him making the scenario much funnier then it actually had been. The knife fight had been gruesome, Sam had almost lost it a few times, but luck… or whatever he had watching his back had let him walk away from that fight alive.

The dark haired woman couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine. When had it gotten cold in here?

Sam's grin faded, turning into a thoughtful look as he put his head back down. "Hey, Luria?"

Half lidded brown eyes turned to the sniper. "Yes?"

"You think I could ever save somebody?"

That wasn't quiet what she had been expecting to hear. "Of course you can. You do save people, why would you even ask?"

The younger man sighed not meeting her eyes. "I just feel like I saved more people over in the desert, then I ever have here. And … Because over there, I wasn't confused who the bad guy is…but now, being here in the city, there aren't 'bad guys', just bad decisions. Now I keep going back to Kandahar in my mind and I can't help but wonder what brought those people to do the things they did so we had to take them down… I feel like I'm trying to negotiate the dead."

The two sat in silence for a moment. Then suddenly Luria climbed to her feet and did the last thing Sam expected her to do. Softly she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and the blonde stiffened at the awkward embrace. But when she didn't move away immediately the sniper found himself resting his head on her shoulder.

"I know it's stupid, those people made their choices, and I took them down to save my team mates. The dead are the dead, I guess I don't have to try and save them." Sam muttered and Luria pulled away to look down at him.

"You can spend the rest of your life trying to save other people Sam," she muttered. "But the most important person you will ever save will be yourself."

A look of complete confusion crossed his face as he looked up at her blue eyes silently asking what she meant.

Stepping back the doctor shook her head. "It's not something I can explain to you. You have to find out yourself. Just like the others."

The tall bartender appeared on the other side of the bar. "Taksi zdesʹ." He stated looking at the doctor.

"Your taxi's here." Sam translated for her and Luria nodded turning to slip her jacket back on. She paused however when the police officer spoke again. "Hey… Luria… Thanks… for not making me talk to the Boss or anything," He smiled gingerly. "And for your company, I may not have wanted to talk to you but I kinda enjoyed not being alone."

"You know you can always come to me with any of your problems Sam," Luria stated resting a hand on his shoulder. "Everybody has some sort of issue they need help dealing with; don't be afraid to let us into your world." And with that the doctor grabbed her purse and headed out the door to her waiting taxi.

The blonde leaned back in his chair, watching her leave before he dug in his pocket pulling out his wallet, flipping open to a small picture of him, Matt and another blonde woman. Running his hands over his face Sam sighed heavily. He really did appreciate what the doctor had been trying to do.

But all Sam was waiting for was for Amanda Luria to realize the two different worlds they came from, and that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't touch his. And he was glad, because she shouldn't. His world was a bloody mess full of dead people and nightmares. Sam didn't want a nice person like the doctor who had been sitting next to him to have to deal with a world like his. She was strong, he'd admit, but he was stronger… His world would destroy her.

* * *

( ._.)-c-_-) i pinch u for no reason.


	3. Is Everything You Have Been Taught

I originally wanted this small conversation to take place between Greg and Sam, but then I suddenly thought to myself, what if he had it with Luria? Then I can just dump it in the pile with the other two stories, so I decided to write it with her instead and it became this.

Hope you enjoy the last, !LAST!(finally) instalment of this Sam, Luria based story.

Thanks for reading this everyone.

* * *

The entire room was quite as they stared at the older man on the stage in front of them. He leaned quietly, his piercing blue eyes scanning the faces of the young cadets and seasoned officers filling the chairs of the university style desks all around. The hall was quiet and had been since he finished the presentation a few moments ago.

Hauling himself up the podium the Sergeant walked to the edge of the stage so his voice could be heard more easily.

"You all came here today to learn the basis of negotiation," he stated. "Some of you may have just needed the credit, but maybe there's one or two of you out there that really **want **to do this; and for you people, I have just one thing left to say." The older man in the loose suit gave them a hardened look. "You've got to have a _very personal reason _for why you want to work on a team like this. You've got to be absolutely **dedicated** to the idea of saving people who find themselves in distress. And that's got to be the thing that drives you day in and day out. The things that you people will see, the crisis's that you will have to face, the times you will have to pull the trigger when you don't want to…you'll carry a lot of that home with you, inside your head and inside your _hearts_. So making the decision that you want this to be your career is sometimes a bigger decision then you realize when you first get into the job."

Silence reigned as he finished speaking before a light buzz sounded in the hallways signalling the end of the hour. When nobody moved the grey-blonde haired man smiled. "You are all now a part of the Toronto Police Service so go do your job, _**go keep the peace**_."

As if the spell on the young officers was broken they slowly got to their feet, collecting their books and filed out of the classroom, a few remaining behind, talking to each other or thinking to themselves.

"It's still shocking to hear Sam Braddock quoting Greg Parker and making it sound just as meaningful as the Commander did."

Slightly shocked the older man turned to look to his side. There stood an old woman, her silver hair tied back in a classic twist, ageless brown eyes glancing over the rim of her glasses that matched the black dress she wore. Sam smirked as he came over to the retired doctor giving her a quick hug. "Hey, you're looking good Luria."

The grey haired woman smiled back at him, adjusting the light blue shawl around her shoulders as she returned the embrace before pulling back to look at him closely. "You don't look to bad yourself Sergeant, certain joys of the children obviously haven't caught up with you yet I suppose."

The man ran an old steadied hand through his own short blonde locks that cleverly hid the pieces that were eroding into an early silver. "Oh yes they have, Ells just got her drivers license and Jules is having a heart attack every time she steps out the door...I'm not much better mind you."

Luria chuckled, the motion pulling at the lines on her face. "I can't wait to see what you tow are going to be like when Caleb is old enough to drive."

A look of unspoken horror crossed over Sams face, "Luckily that won't be for another few years… I still have time to go find enough bubble wrap for the kid."

"You can't protect your children forever Sam," she chastised lightly knowing he was only kidding about the bubble wrap…mostly. Suddenly her face dropped and she set a slim hand on his knee. "Have you been by to see Greg lately?"

Blue eyes turned away from the old SRU's shrink to the large room around them. "Jules went to see him last week with the kids, but…" he trailed off. He hadn't been able to summon up the courage to go see his old boss.

"I was talking to Ed the other day," the grey haired woman added when he didn't finish. "He said that they're going to stop the chemotherapy. He's decided to let it just run its course now."

There was silence for a moment before Sam numbly nodded his head in understanding. Truth be told, ever since Parker had shared his diagnosis with Team One over six years ago he had been waiting for that announcement. If there was one person Commander Greg Parker had never been able to negotiate with it was with himself.

Dean had been heartbroken at the news his father was going to be fighting for his life while he was away at university, but Greg had looked at his son, told him to go and with a final hug from Dean and a promise from Ed to call if anything serious happened, Greg had willingly let his son walk away. But Sam had just smiled at that moment when Dean had left; because Greg had been smiling, a proud fatherly smile he had managed to get after finally reuniting with his sons so many years before. And that reconnection had been all of Ed's doing.

Ah Ed, the leader of Team One had retired half a decade ago, finally hanging up his rifle much to Sophie's utter adorement; even if he did do some field training exercises he was always home for his family now. The two parents had seen Clark off to a new job out west some years ago and were currently trying to survive Paige's last year of high school. The young girl was just like her father when he had been that age and Sam shivered at the thought, he had looked after the little trouble maker for a few days before and instantly vowed never to do it again.

The rest of Team One had all gone their different ways throughout the years too; Spike was the head of a large sector of security in a posting for the National Defence, Wordy had run Team One for a while after Greg had fallen ill before transferring to another position in Ottawa. And even Leah, after all her family emergencies had come back to the team only to leave when she got married. The team had been sad to see her go, but when she explained to them that she and her doctor-husband were going out east to help with the W.H.O. and NATO movements they had each congratulated her and wished her the best as she left.

And Jules… well, he and Jules were surprisingly not that long of a story. The entire of Team one, minus Leah and Wordy had been sitting in the conference room, when Sam had suddenly frowned as his phone received a new text. Ed had noticing it and questioned him on it. The blonde had merely gotten to his feet, turned around to face the woman beside him and had, without warning, grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her like there was going to be no tomorrow. And there wasn't going to be. Not for him… not on this team.

When he pulled back to the shocked faces of his friends Sam just grinned holding his phone up to Jules, hoping he could explain before she hit him. "My transfers been approved, I'll be replacing Jack as Team Two's lead sniper." Her shocked expression was one of the most endearing sights ever. "So can I have your answer now?"

Jules scoffed but the grin making its way onto her face was undeniable. Wrapping her arms around the ex-army brats neck she leaned in to kiss him. "Jesus Sam, yes, you can have my answer now," as if to leave the rest of the room in suspense she moved her lips to his ear and whispered. "Yes I will marry you."

Now though, Sam rubbed at his aching knees as he and Luria sat on the edge of the large stage, he was getting old, wounds that had long since healed were starting to flare up again, and there was more grey in his hair then he'd care to admit and more laugh lines on his face then he'd ever thought possible he'd have. But he didn't really care about those things, because each line was proof that he had laughed or worried over something; that those grey hairs meant he was still alive for them to change with his age. It was silly, he knew, and he had even once tried to explain the unreal feelings to Jules with little success. She had just patted his shoulder, given him a quick kiss and ran to go sush their son Caleb who had just woken up.

And while Jules may not have understood what he had been trying to say, he knew the woman at his side now would. Because Luria was like that, even in her own aging body she was still able to read his mind and manipulate him to her will when the need arose.

"So the class went well. I think you really got your message across." The doctor smiled kindly looking around the mostly empty classroom, a few officers still lingering behind talking about the class. "Greg would have loved to have seen you give this presentation."

He smiled crookedly. "Well he was the one who taught it all to me, and I figured that if I can learn it, anybody can." But he sighed then and looked over at two cadets who were standing in the doorway passing words back and forth. "And they should learn it, so hopefully now those people will see some of the humanity in both sides of the story, of those situations, how those things happen. Thhey should see that when somebody has a gun to somebody's head it's very easy to see it and go 'oh, that guy is _crazy_ and thank god they killed him' because that guy was _**bad**_." Sam paused, his hands waving slightly trying to emphasis what he was saying. "No, what I learned, and what I wanted to pass onto them is maybe bad doesn't exist, maybe good doesn't exist, what exist are human beings who screw up, and human beings who screw up to an extreme point where there's no coming back."

Then he looked at Luria, with those blue eyes that still shone with child like wonder and belief sometimes it took her breath away. "And if they understand that, then that's all I can really hope for."

* * *

Thanks again,


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